Michelle Elman has admitted “living a long life is overrated”, a week after undergoing her 19th surgery.
The This Morning expert, 33, was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery last week, amid her battle with hydrocephalus.
Michelle was born with the condition. It causes an excess of cerebrospinal fluid on the brain. Doctors later discovered that she was also born with a brain tumour. Now, she’s shared an update, revealing the intense amount of physical pain she’s in.
This Morning’s Michelle Elman ‘not sure she’ll make it out of this’
Posting a video to Instagram, Michelle shared: “Maybe living the longest isn’t the goal. Excuse my morbid mindset but it’s been five months of this and I think if I’ve learnt anything it’s that living a long life is overrated.
“There have been multiple moments where I’ve been near death or emergency surgeries and the last thing I said to my best friend, my dad, my sister, whoever’s been out here before I’ve gone into surgery is I don’t want to live if I can’t do the things I love.
“I want my brain and my body to work. And if I’m confined to a hospital bed, I don’t want it. And if this is all the time I have left, then I am happy with that.”
Michelle went on: “Frankly I’ve had more time than I ever thought I would get because I thought I wouldn’t be here past the age of 21. And the longer this goes on, crossing the five month mark now, I’m not sure I’ll make it out of this.”
‘Living a long life is not the goal’
The life coach also spoke about the trolling she’s had “as a plus-size woman”. “But what I do know, especially as a plus-sized woman who’s had comment sections full of the fact I am going to die young even though my health problems started long before I was plus sized, is that living a long life is not the goal.
“There are many people who live a long live hating on others, being judgmental, being cruel, being mean. So 90 years on this earth doesn’t mean you get the most amount of life if you have spent most of that life just taking it for granted. And that’s one thing I have never done. I have not taken one second for granted.”
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‘Dying’ as a child
A near-death experience when she was a child has made Michelle unafraid of death, she said. “Maybe it’s because I had the fortunate moment at 11 years old of flatlining, floating above my body. Ever since that moment I’ve believed that death is peaceful. Don’t get me wrong, the moments before dying are incredibly painful. But just as you float out of your body, that peacefulness, that calm, it’s the literal embodiment of the feeling of relief.
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